Her Madness Keeps Her Sane? [completed]

[prinzessinasuka.livejournal.com]

Character(s): Asuka, Rei and anyone.
Content: Asuka is messed up after Kyoko's disappearance and Rei is at the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong person.
Setting: Around Vanaheim gate (F3)
Time: Afternoon, Week 2
Warnings: Insanity.


The warmth is gone. Asuka brings her arms around herself, thinking that maybe she can gather the warmth that was once in front of her if she does that. The warmth is still not here. She lets go of herself and repeats the gesture; reaching her hands out and bringing them around herself yet again. "Mama?" She asks timidly, afraid that if she calls out too loud, her mother will not come to her; that if she demands too much, they would not give her anything and will take away everything she has.

She feels so fragile that she is afraid that if she speaks too loud then she might break herself. Yet in her mind, her own voice echoes like stereos set on full blast but she cannot make herself shut up. She can hear herself yelling over and over again like a broken record, BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKABAKABAKA!! but that is not her, that is the Bad Asuka and the Good Asuka is whimpering in the background, no foreground, BACKGROUND, YOU BAKA! but then she realizes that there is no Good Asuka or Bad Asuka, there is only Strong Asuka and Weak Asuka and now the Strong Asuka is angry, ohpleaseplease, stop shouting, damnit!, and she is the Weak Asuka and she is so weak she can only cry.

Asuka gathers her knees around her to make up for the warmth that was once there but is not anymore. She puts her hands on her ears to make the Strong Asuka stop shouting mean things to her, but it only made Strong Asuka sound louder in her head. Tears flow down from her eyes that gaze into the distant nothingness, synchrographminus twelvepoint eightit's on theborderline ofthestartingindicator. "Stop it..." Her eyes dart around chaoticly, looking for an enemy, the enemy. She is looking for the source of the voice so she can destroy him, her, it. So it would shutupshutupshutup.

Her eyes fall upon Rei and she grins like a madman (man? girl, madgirl). you arejust adolllike i thoughtyou'vealwayslooked likeadoll andi'vehated youfor a longlongtime! haah!ihate everyoneeveryone! "I hate you..." she mutter menacingly to Rei. "ihateyouihateyouihateyou..." she repeats the words like a mantra, biting her nails nervously while glaring at Rei. she's justadollcan't feelangrysadhurt so shecansaywhatever shewantsto it. "You're just my doll~" she says in a sing-song voice to Rei.

Comments

[seconddoll.livejournal.com]

It was not the first time Rei had found herself at a loss of words. The Second's mother was there - and then simply not. Was that how this place worked? One moment there, and then not. Rei's jaw tightened the slightest bit. Perhaps the Second's mother was just an illusion. It made sense - Rei could not fathom a creature that seemed to be half human and half Evangelion. It was impossible.

She watched Asuka cry and react to the sudden loss with a look of detatchment. Her mind was quickly telling her this was a bad situation and would not help the girl's mental state. Alarms were going off in her head, but she did not know if she should just leave. The commander would want them to work together. He would want her to drag the Second with her. Rei was injured, and the Second's mental state was worse.

Rei found herself wanting to... not listen. But her legs didn't move. A part of her was curious.

The look in Asuka's eyes made the alarms sound louder in her head. Hate. Rei did not care if someone hated her. The doll comment, perhaps, is what made her narrow her good eye. "I am not a doll."

[prinzessinasuka.livejournal.com]

Even in her current state, Asuka could sense that Rei wants to go away. Rei wants to leave her behind like her mother did. But mother didn't leave Asuka, of course not, mother would never leave Asuka. mamama mapleasedon't killme noi amnotmama's dolli will thinkformyself iwill liveonmy owni don't needdaddyor mama.i willlive onmy own. "I am not a doll," Rei said, and Asuka cackles maniacally at her reply. Not a doll? What a joke. Asuka cannot see that she is finding the joke to be much funnier than it should be.

"Dolly, Dolly~" she trills inbetween her cackles. "You should just die, you dolly!" Her eyes are still unfocused just like her mind because if she just tries to pull herself together then she would realize that she actually wants to say these words to herself instead. OF COURSE NOT, YOU BAKA! iam thegreatasukai amnot likethatrei sucking upto the commanderhow pitiful! "Dolly~ you should just kill yourself, no one would care anyway~"