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paixaorpg2006-04-18 01:53 pm
prinzessinasuka.livejournal.com) wrote in paixaorpg2006-04-18 01:53 pm
Entry tags:
Angst Alert! [solo/completed]
Character(s): Asuka and anyone who'd like to pop in.
Content: Asuka in a not-so-good mental state and considering suicide but not finding enough courage to do so.
Setting: Balcony of Actua Are F3
Time: Friday afternoon
Warnings: loads of angst!
The weather had gotten considerably colder since noon, but Asuka still would not budge from her position, leaning against the balcony. She watched Jenet walk away from the hotel just a few moments ago, but she cannot be sure that it was really just a few moments. Maybe it was actually an hour, who knows? Asuka realizes that there is a clock hung on the wall just behind her but the act of turning her head takes much more willpower than she has.
Now she wonders why she is sulking out here in the balcony. It was not really because of what Jenet said; that is such a trivial thing. Perhaps it was because she misses the people back home, especially Shinji. Yes, that's it, she misses the stupid dummkopf even though she would not like to admit it. Snorting to herself, "Shinji no baka!"
Another gust of wind blows and her broken arm aches but she makes no effort to keep from the cold. Her arms supporting herself on the railing while her legs are crossed, her whole body leaning against her arms. The land below seems very inviting, but she wonders if it would be utter stupidity to try and kiss it. Being splattered on the ground is not pretty, and at the very least she wants to die beautifully.
There is a bathtub in the bathroom, she remembers. There should be razors somewhere, but she really does not want The Prince to know that Asuka had killed herself. She steps onto the railing and stands upon it, balancing herself by stretching her arms out. If she jumps, they probably would not be able to identify her, considering the strangely structured building which would result in her body hitting the many roofs before meeting the ground. Yes, she should jump.
Placing her arms slowly beside herself, she peeks down again, her heart racing in fear and anticipation. No, not fear, Asuka has no fear. She closes her eyes and swallows her saliva to calm herself down, wondering if Jenet or Auron or The Prince would cry for her. Shinji probably would, him being a wimp and all, but he is not here and he would probably never know that she had jumped to her death. Auron would probably scoff, The Prince would be sad but he probably wouldn't cry much, Jenet she has no idea about. Should she jump? Would it hurt? Will they miss her? Would it change anything? Why in the world does she want to jump anyway???
Choking on a sob, she crouches and sits on the railing hugging her legs close to herself. She sobs uncontrollably, letting out pitiful wails now and then. "Idiots! They're all idiots, that's what!" then wiping her tears roughly, "I hate them! I hate them all!!"
Content: Asuka in a not-so-good mental state and considering suicide but not finding enough courage to do so.
Setting: Balcony of Actua Are F3
Time: Friday afternoon
Warnings: loads of angst!
The weather had gotten considerably colder since noon, but Asuka still would not budge from her position, leaning against the balcony. She watched Jenet walk away from the hotel just a few moments ago, but she cannot be sure that it was really just a few moments. Maybe it was actually an hour, who knows? Asuka realizes that there is a clock hung on the wall just behind her but the act of turning her head takes much more willpower than she has.
Now she wonders why she is sulking out here in the balcony. It was not really because of what Jenet said; that is such a trivial thing. Perhaps it was because she misses the people back home, especially Shinji. Yes, that's it, she misses the stupid dummkopf even though she would not like to admit it. Snorting to herself, "Shinji no baka!"
Another gust of wind blows and her broken arm aches but she makes no effort to keep from the cold. Her arms supporting herself on the railing while her legs are crossed, her whole body leaning against her arms. The land below seems very inviting, but she wonders if it would be utter stupidity to try and kiss it. Being splattered on the ground is not pretty, and at the very least she wants to die beautifully.
There is a bathtub in the bathroom, she remembers. There should be razors somewhere, but she really does not want The Prince to know that Asuka had killed herself. She steps onto the railing and stands upon it, balancing herself by stretching her arms out. If she jumps, they probably would not be able to identify her, considering the strangely structured building which would result in her body hitting the many roofs before meeting the ground. Yes, she should jump.
Placing her arms slowly beside herself, she peeks down again, her heart racing in fear and anticipation. No, not fear, Asuka has no fear. She closes her eyes and swallows her saliva to calm herself down, wondering if Jenet or Auron or The Prince would cry for her. Shinji probably would, him being a wimp and all, but he is not here and he would probably never know that she had jumped to her death. Auron would probably scoff, The Prince would be sad but he probably wouldn't cry much, Jenet she has no idea about. Should she jump? Would it hurt? Will they miss her? Would it change anything? Why in the world does she want to jump anyway???
Choking on a sob, she crouches and sits on the railing hugging her legs close to herself. She sobs uncontrollably, letting out pitiful wails now and then. "Idiots! They're all idiots, that's what!" then wiping her tears roughly, "I hate them! I hate them all!!"