paixaorpg | Unexpected Emotions [Completed]

Entry tags:

Unexpected Emotions [Completed]

Character(s): Laharl and Flonne~
Content: After an argument with his father, he takes off from the apartment.
Setting: Somewhere outside... \O_o/
Time: Uh.... evening? Getting dark!
Warnings: OH HAI ANGST. IT'S BEEN AWHILE.

When he'd started talking to his father, he certainly hadn't expected it to quite go the way it had gone. He'd been trying to keep his usual self somewhat checked since his mother had returned, though Laharl knew full well he couldn't hide his true self from his mother forever, but he hadn't meant to reveal it like that. He also had not expected to feel the way he felt now when he had.

He hadn't thought of his capture by the Organization for some time now. He'd tried very hard to push what happened from his mind. What Laharl had tried so hard to forget all came slamming back into him the moment his mother yelled at him. The moment he'd realized what he'd just let her see. All Larxene's poisonous words filling his head... that his mother would be ashamed of him... that he'd wasted her gift of life... that he was a disappointment of a son... a failure.

The young demon had never really faced what he'd gone through; he hadn't come to any kind of terms with it. He'd simply swept the memories to the back of his mind, and tried his best to not think about it, which had become easier as time had passed. It seemed they'd not been half as buried as he had thought.

He felt almost like he was going to be sick.

The onslaught of emotions had been too much for him and he just couldn't face his mother, so he'd bolted. The window had been as good a way out as any. He just had to get away from that apartment, but he wasn't sure where to go. Going anywhere wasn't really even on his mind.The only place he really wanted to be was curled up in his coffin in his own room... Of course, he could in a way, but that required getting to the upper floors and, more to the point, knowing where he even was. He was stumbling blindly through the deep snow as it was, clenching and gritting his teeth; trying to ignore the small part of him that wanted to just stop and breakdown.

The snow had gotten very deep over the past week and didn't show any signs of stopping; it was well up over his knees. It was mostly a hindrance than anything else to him, as demons were barely affected by the cold, but he seemed to feel it more tonight, as he stumbled along. Maybe it was the human in him? He didn't usually think of himself as being half human, but none-the-less, he was, as certain relatives did like pointing out, which was likely why he made effort to never think of himself that way. Of course, thinking of them, particularly one of them, was not a welcome thought right now at all. He'd been really lucky Larxene hadn't been able to get that deep into his memories...

Ugh, he just really might be sick at this rate. Dammit!

Something in his chest just... hurt. It had hurt then too; when he had been at Larxene's mercy and he didn't mean just the pain she had inflicted upon him physically. The idea of disappointing his mother... hurt, and now he feared he had. It was all just too much. Stupid emotions! He hated them! He hated what they did to him! He just couldn't handle them. He didn't know how to. It just didn't seem to ever get any easier.

He finally stumbled to his hands and knees. Light was fading, and the snow was getting a little heavier. Walking was getting far too difficult. Laharl had wanted to be alone, but now he was starting to think this hadn't been his best of ideas. As much as he couldn't face his mother, he wished she was here.

Laharl felt something brushing his arm that was clutch his chest, distracting him for a moment. Wrapping his fingers around it, he instantly realized what it was. Flonne... He closed his eyes, clamping his hand around her pendant that had found it's way out of it's hiding spot within the neck of his scarf. Where was she right now? Probably back at the apartment, his own thoughts answered for him. There was something deep inside him wishing she could be here about now...

He didn't get back to his feet at this point; he just collapsed over onto his side in the snow and simply laid there. He didn't know what to do.

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Within the swirling grey world the city had become, a soft, warm light glowed in the distance. As it approached, a slender silhouette was outlined in the dark, apparently holding up the single point of light. Its pink-ish glow slowly spread over Laharl as the stranger approached -- but it was no stranger. Flonne, wearing a warm cloak several sizes too big for her, knelt at the young Overlord's side, the only sound the muffled crunch of snow beneath them.

"Laharl," she said softly, as tender as if she were waking him up from a peaceful slumber. She reached out and brushed away the snow that had already collected on his shoulder. "You have to get up."

He hadn't quite fallen asleep, but somehow time had apparently passed since he'd collapsed. He was faintly aware of the sound of crunching snow and yet not. It wasn't till she touched him that his eyes fluttered open, and he peered up at the dimly lit person above him.

"...Flonne!"

Laharl thought for a brief moment perhaps he was seeing things, but her hand seemed too warm on his shoulder to be a dream.

"You... how did you?" he mumbled, feeling faintly confused. How had she found him so quickly? Or... had he been out longer than he'd thought?

"I can always find you," she replied simply to the unasked question, smiling gently. She pulled him into her arms, the heavy cloak fluttering around them both. "I'm your vassal." As the snow continued to drift and swirl around them, she hugged him close, using the heat of her fully inhuman body to warm his flesh...whether he wanted her to or not.

"There's a bench under an awning over by the shop. Let's go sit do for a moment, okay?" Though she continued to smile, worry had crept into her voice. In truth, she'd searched for him as soon as Gwen had told her what happened, dashing out of the apartment wordlessly. What had happened to make her Overlord react so strongly?

She pulled away just far enough to look into his eyes, her hands warm on his shoulders under the cloak they were now sharing.

"F-Flonne..." He just didn't know what else to say, as he found himself being pulled into her arms, suddenly surrounded by her warmth. He wasn't sure how to react to this. Laharl felt unusually blank. He was still wrapping his mind around that she'd found him. His hand had found and gripped her shoulder as if to shove her away, but it never did; as if the motion had been almost subconscious.

Un-bothered by the cold or not, the warmth was strangely welcoming and calming, especially since he'd still been shaking with emotions.

He had trouble, however, meeting her gaze, but he agreed with her suggestion. "Okay."

As she took his hand and lead them to the awning, Flonne said a silent prayer that Laharl had the physical ability to deal with such freezing weather. But then, it wasn't the coldness of his skin that worried her as much as the way he was acting. As they sat on the bench, she pulled the cloak more around them until they were nearly swaddled in the cloth. She needed to extend any comfort she could, even something as simple as this.

"Laharl," she began hesitantly, forgoing the usual honorific yet again. "What happened with your mother?"

He... just kind of let her, distracted by what was going on inside him. He was try to figure out what to tell her as he was sure she was going to have questions for him. Once they had settled, sure enough, a question came.

Huddled beneath the shared cloak, not because of the cold, he glanced at her for only a moment, before glancing away. Part of him wanted to explain, and part of him wanted to close up completely, like he usually did with things of the emotional persuasion.

"I... it... it's complicated," he finally said, not even noticing the lack of honorific. Perhaps he would later. Everything in his chest was clenching again.

She gave that some thought for a moment, listening to the wind howl through the empty streets. "She's not mad at you, you know," Flonne finally said, watching Laharl carefully. "She loves you so much. I don't think she could ever be mad at you for long."

Watching him like this made her own heart throb painfully, the quiet of his voice unnerving and unusual. It was as if he wasn't even really there with her, his own thoughts so far away from her.

At first he didn't answer. He just stared out over the frozen landscape in silence. Finally he did respond. "I didn't think she was," he answered, gaze fixing to the ground. "But I bet she's disappointed."

He'd finally, accidentally, showed her a glimpse of what he had actually become. How could she not be?

Your mother would be so disappointed with how you've repaid her sacrifice, Laharl.

The voice echoed from his memories, causing his features to flinch; his eyes suddenly squeezing shut, as if in pain. He didn't want to remember them; he didn't want to believe them, but they kept repeating in his mind.

"How could she be disappointed in you when you've come so far?" she asked, genuinely confused. To Flonne, Laharl's growth and strength were obvious. "You've learned so much...you've taught me so much." Flonne bit her bottom lip before scooting closer, hugging him to her once more.

"I know she's proud of who you are now. I know it."

He stiffened at the embrace, but still didn't push her away. "She doesn't know me, Flonne. I'm not kind or nice. I'm not anything she wanted me to be. I've been trying to hide it, but... yeah, that didn't work."

Laharl was shuddering in her grasp, emotions bubbling up with a force he was having trouble containing. "She gave up her life for me, and this is what she got," he said, not about to be so easily convinced otherwise. "And nothing will change that. I'll never be the son she..."

He paused, trying to find the right words. "That she deserved," he finally settled on, voice quieter. "I can't be."

She knew trying to convince him otherwise of his kindness would do as much good as it ever had. Flonne frowned a bit and pulled away, looking out at the wintery scene in front of them. "How do you know? All this time you've just been assuming, but how can you know what she really feels and what she wants for you if you run away?" She looked over at him, her blonde hair stirring in the cold wind.

"The best way to disappoint her would be to give up and admit defeat."

Slowly Laharl glanced back at her, meeting her gaze for a moment before looking away once more. Dammit... Why did she have to make sense, sometimes?

"I..."

It took a long moment before he was able to finally make a proper response.

As much as some of his concerns made sense to him, Flonne maybe... maybe she was right. He only had the memories of his mother as a young child. Could he really say he knew how she really felt? "Do... you really think she...?"

Laharl's question hung, uncertain or even unable to complete it. She could accept him? She could still love him even though he was like this? That she could forgive him?

"She'll forgive you," Flonne replied, her voice firm with conviction. "But the only way you'll know for sure is if you gather up your courage and face her." She smiled again, leaning towards him. "You're worth loving, Laharl...and forgiveness is a part of love."

Edited 2011-10-14 04:25 (UTC)

"L-Love... That again..." he muttered, feeling uncomfortable, as usual, with it coming up, even if he'd wondered it in the back of his mind. He couldn't really understand how anyone could love someone like him.

Laharl fell silent for several beats before he closed his eyes and sighed. What kind of Overlord hid from their own Mother?

"I'll face her," he decided.

"That's great! I knew you would!" She rewarded this decision by tackling him into another hug, wrapping her arms around his neck and getting them both tangled in the cloak. Giggling, she squeezed him, her cheek pressed into his. "You'd never run away just because something is hard!"

"F-Flonne..." he mumbled, momentarily flustered, finally, by her closeness. Hands touched her arms, and... he gently began to pry her away. No failing or yelling, however, came from him. He still seemed uncharacteristically subdue.

"Of course not..." he responded quietly to what she said, but hardly seemed to mean it.

She was so happy that he was going to actually talk to his mother that Flonne didn't even notice him prying her away. She stood up, taking his hand to pull him up as well. "We'll go right now. She's been so worried, the sooner you two talk, the better. Oh!" She stopped suddenly, looking a little uncertain as she glanced his way, noticing he was still subdued, though thankfully not as shellshocked.

"Laharl, did...did something happen? With your mom? Before I came here, I mean."

Edited 2011-10-14 04:55 (UTC)

He let her pull him to his feet. Laharl figured he might as well get talking to her over with, after all, but blinked a bit as she suddenly stopped, and looked at him.

How was he meant to answer that.

"...No. Not... to my mother."

Well, nothing other than her coming and vanishing, but... he was fairly sure that's not what she was picking up on. He knew full well what it was, but did he want to tell her? He... wasn't sure.

Edited 2011-10-14 05:01 (UTC)

"It's just that...it seems like there's more to this that you haven't said." Flonne clasped her hands together under the cloak, worry and sadness in her wide ruby eyes. "I know lots of things happened before I joined you here and some enemies were made. I thought maybe if your mother had been here before, that..." She trailed off, unsure of what to say.

Instead she stepped a little closer, bending slightly to catch his gaze. "You can tell me...if you want."

He caught her glaze for a moment, then glanced away again, as he looked like he was thinking on something for a few moments. To tell her or not to tell her. That look... he almost wanted to, but at the same time... Then again, if he didn't who else might? His old man knew and so did Timon. He didn't exactly trust either of them not to spill the beans eventually, to some extent.

He sighed, somewhat defeatedly, as his gaze returned to hers. "Yeah, she was here once, but... that's not... Look," he said, having a hard time figuring out how to word this.

"You've... heard the Organization likes to "experiment" on people, right?" he asked her then, softly.

She nodded, hands tightening over her heart. Though she'd had yet to experience such experiments or even meet the Organization, she'd heard a lot of terrible things about them and all they'd done. She gasped suddenly, feeling a pain in her heart as she realized what he might be implying. "Oh...! They didn't experiment on you...did they?"

He didn't reply her question. He just took a hold of her wrist, turned, and attempted to lead her along.

"Come on."

For a moment, the world seemed to fall out from under her feet. His lack of answer was proof enough and she was horrified to think of him subjected to the sort of torture and terror the Organization was known to experiment with. Flonne gave a little gasp and refused to budge, staring at him in shock, eyes filling with tears.

"O-Oh..."

Edited 2011-10-15 03:12 (UTC)

Finding she wouldn't move he just stood there, facing away from her, still holding onto her wrist. He continued to stand there for several moments before he finally dared to glance back at her over his shoulder.

Oh, Flonne...

Laharl's resolve to, apparently, say as little about it as possible, crumbled seeing her expression. He never could stand seeing her cry. He finally turned back to her, releasing her wrist, and taking her by her upper arms. "Flonne... I... look, I'm fine, alright? It happened awhile ago."

It might've been a futile attempt, a part of him realized that, but none-the-less, he found himself trying to convince her. Though he'd probably already showed her that he wasn't quite alright.

Edited 2011-10-15 06:32 (UTC)

"Th-that doesn't mean it still d-doesn't affect you!" she said, valiantly trying to hold back her tears and failing. She scrubbed at her eyes almost angrily, knowing tears were the last thing he wanted to see but unable to help herself. "Those awful Nobodies...how could they be so cruel to you?" She opened her eyes and gazed down at Laharl, reaching out to grasp his scarf lightly in some wordless plea. "Whatever they said to you, don't listen to it. They're liars, Laharl!"

His expression softened a little, and he sighed. "You think I don't know that? Of course they are! I know that..." he trailed off, sounding almost like he wasn't just convince her of that fact.

Obviously Larxene was a liar; he had no doubt of that in the slightest, but it didn't stop the fact her words had echoed some amount of truth to them. After reading his memories, she'd known what to say that would affect him the most and she had managed, very successfully, to hit the right chords deep down inside him.

"I just... I know that," he repeated, trailing off to silence.

Flonne hugged the edge of his scarf to her chest and pulled him closer in the process. "When you talk to Gwen-sand, you'll see! Because I watch her when she looks at you and I can see how proud of you she is! She sees how strong you've become, how you stand up for yourself and your vassals, how you never run away from doing what you have to, even if its hard."

And there she was, hugging him again before she could stop herself, arms around his neck. "Oh, Laharl, don't let them taint your heart!"

Laharl blinked at her, surprised just how sure she sounded. Not that she didn't talk passionately about a lot of things, but still. "F-Flonne..."

It took a moment to actually decide what to say, as he suddenly found himself being hugged again. Not that he was surprised by it, but he still automatically stiffened for a moment, before relaxing a little, lightly pressing his forehead into her shoulder. He closed his eyes, just taking in and releasing a breath.

"You can really see all that?"

That and so much more. But she was walking a thin line here...if she told him just how good he really was inside his heart, he'd balk. It was too soon. Instead she nodded, one hand going to the back of his head, her eyes closed. "Yes...and I'm not the only one. Why else would you have so many gathered around you if they didn't think you worth it? Do you think I'd become just anyone's vassal?"

The wind picked up and the world seemed condensed to just them, the snow and darkness all around them. "Laharl, I would follow you forever because of who you are, right now."

He relaxed a little more, head leaning against her, fully realizing there was no one else out here. It was just them.

Wait. 'Laharl'? When had she started calling him just that? He hadn't heard her say that since... since last time she was here. The 'other Flonne', as she always put it, had suddenly switched to that. To him it just reaffirmed something he already knew: there was no 'other Flonne', Flonne was Flonne, and this just further proved it.

Slow and hesitant, Flonne would feel an arm creep around her back, and it's grip tighten around her.

"Good. You better," he replied, quietly.

She still confused him and his feelings, but there was one thing he was certain of: he wanted her to stay with him.

She smiled, blushing faintly and unseen as his arm tightened around her. After a moment, she pulled away and adjusted his scarf -- a thinly-veiled excuse just to hold on to him for a little longer. But she let him go and gave him her best smile, bright and warm and full of love. "Gwen-san is waiting...let's go."

That smile... It caught him off guard for a moment, before brushing off that funny feeling in his stomach that he seemed to so often feel around her to concentrate what was important right now.

"Right."

There was, however, a faint smile on his lips, before her turned to lead the way back to the apartment. After only a step however, he paused again, glancing back slightly at Flonne, as he had become aware, once again, of all the damn snow around them. It somehow seemed darker out here now too.

He looked away, but in the process stuck his hand out backwards to her. "Come on."

To make sure he didn't lose in her the dark or something, naturally.

Flonne paused for a second, staring at his hand in surprise before she took it, almost shyly. "Yes, Laharl!" Casting a simple star spell for light, she let him lead them home, to the family that was waiting.

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Unexpected Emotions [Completed]

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