paixaorpg | Hang onto your butts [ Open / Active ]

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Hang onto your butts [ Open / Active ]

Character(s): Zim and whomever wants to join!
Content: Zim almost escapes. almost
Setting: Zim's Base, then..who knows.
Time: Mid week 29
Warnings: You might get a headache from lulzing so hard.

Zim had been hard at work in his base ever since assisting with the cure to that stupid fog thing. God, these puny humans were just asking to be destroyed, what with all their weaknesses..who was weak to a stupid fog? It's fog!! And it took them turning to Zim and a bunch of other stupid spoot-heads to fix the problem for them. He sometimes questioned whether or not the human race would even make worthy slaves for his Tallests.

But hey! It wasn't his problem anymore, this bunch of useless, fat cows could suffocate here for all he cared, cause he was getting BACK to Earth, and the first thing he planned to do is kick Dib's butt so hard, that scary sister of his would run screaming like a greasy, purple-haired piggy.

"Nyeh heh heh heh~" He cackled devilishly under his breath, the very thought making his antennae curl with delight. Sweet, sweet revenge.~

Zim was putting the final touches on his machine, the extended arms on his PAK working simultaneously alongside him. Sparks flew, crackling against his green skin, but fire was nothing to the mighty Irken skin!! Oh yes, and as he finished, he slammed down the panel, taking a step back to look at the perfect replica of the Worm-Hole Driller Deluxe that he used to try and banish Dib-stink and all those stupid kids to another pocket of empty space. And this one even made Irken snacks! Thus the 'Deluxe' part. Anyway, with his hands on his hips and this snarky, shameless, suave grin on his little green face, showing those fangs of his, he was waiting for G.I.R. to pop in with a million questions and crawl all over everything while spouting out compliments and other gibborish--but he didn't. Zim's antennae laid back, and he was actually a little disappointed. The silence saw him lonely..he constantly had to yell at the robot, but he did miss the little idiot.

But that few seconds of non-irken emotion passed quickly, and he slammed a fist down on the big, red 'START' button. It lit up and with a loud whirr, electricity sparked across the nodes at the top. He cackled and screeched at the computer. "COMPUTER!!"

"....Whaaaat?" The computer whined after a heavy sigh.

Zim didn't seem to notice the laziness and insubordination. "INPUT COORDINATES! Set start point for 'current location,' and end coordinates for my base on Earth. I need to pick up a few things before CRUSHING DIB-STINK'S SOUL UNDER THE HEEL OF MY BOOT." He snarled, clenching his fists as the mere mention of that name sent rage shooting up his spine. Especially in light of the current situation.

"Do I have to?"

"YESDOITNOW! NOW NOW NOW!!" He grumbled, leering up at one of the arms that extended from the ceiling of the sub-terra portions of his base.

"But sir, you haven't even programmed it yet."

"...Then upload the program, duh!" He folded his arms across his chest, tapping his boot impatiently on the floor. Jeeze..what, did he have to do everything himself?

With another lazy sound of protest, a cable dropped from the ceiling. Across a large screen behind the Irken, the blueprints and program files for the Worm-Hole Driller, and the updated Deluxe model ran across the screen, followed by a downloading bar.

"...Estimated time until completion three HOURS?" His voice cracked as he whined in dis-belief. He pulled at his antennae, letting out an airy groan of what one could mistake as agony, though it was just more frustration. He had to hurry! Who knows what stupid Dib-stink was doing! He was probably training armies of worthless meat-sacks to capture him and take him to the F.B.I. to have a bucket of germs thrown at him..he'd already been here a few weeks--Oh, but the time started skipping around on the computer screen, and a few minutes later, a shine, green 'DONE' flashed on screen. "Awesome!" Yeah, he knew his base was too advanced to take that long to upload one simple program

The coordinates were set, and lightning jumped between the nodes atop the machine, crackling inside the foreign metal that composed the inner-ring of his machine. The power flickered in the city, and the rail-way shut down from the power Zim had been sapping from it to start up his machine. He cackled maniacally, rubbing his two-fingered hands over one another in such a sinister matter. Finally, a screen of light shone in the middle of the ring, and Zim marched forwards, stepping into the portal.~

AND SUDDENLY, FAIL. IT WAS IMMINENT. The worm-hole's path was solid white, and while light seemed to radiate from every inch of the vortex's walls, which couldn't be clearly defined actually, the light was far from blinding. Zim had no problem walking along on the extended spider-legs of his PAK, and all was going so smooth! But then, electricity zipped along the pathway. Space started to distort, but it was too late. Zim couldn't turn back--he hadn't programmed this worm-hole to be two-ways, and he was being pulled forwards no matter how hard he fought against it. It was magnetic, pulling at every cell in his body with an undeniable force. Strands of darkness twisted into the vortex.

"AGH--NO, WHAT...STOP, GO AWAY, I DON'T WANT ANY!! Go away, go away, go away, go away!!" He swatted at the darkeness, trying to sprint towards the end, looking either way at the encroaching darkness with the look of paranoia on his face. "Noooo! Get out, this is my worm-hole!" His voice strained into an airy bark as he tried commanding the darkness, but the silly alien couldn't do that.

But, at least he made it out! A white vortex appeared randomly on the first floor of Castle Oblivion, within the confines of Paixao, and out came Zim, tumbling and rolling across the ground. Tendrils of darkness reached out of the white vortex of light after Zim. There was the sound of an explosion coming from the vortex before it disappeared in a flash of light. He kicked up a dust cloud and wrestled with the legs of his PAK for a few seconds since the force from the explosion pushed him a few extra feet across the ground, grunting and flailing before getting himself upright and standing on them again.

"Hah! I showed you, you pathe--Heeey!" He chirped out that last word in quite the vexed manner, eyes narrowing. "This isn't my lab! ...Where am I?" Another leg extended from his PAK, this one branching into two metallic limbs at the very end, spreading to show a holographic map--it was fuzzy, static-y, and glitching...

(( OOC: Sorry for the length..again, I cut out what details I could to shorten it. ANYWAY. First person to reply is free to choose where Zim fell out at as long as it's on the floor with Paixao, AND...he doesn't have his disguise on!!~ After that, anyone else is welcome to join in! Also, I had mod permission to do what I'm about to do. >:3 ))

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"Hey, are you okay?" Pumbaa trotted up next to the weird little green thing that suddenly appeared out of nowhere and rolled up in front of him. He'd just walked out of Vyers' apartment to go and get something to eat, and then this really strange white light made him go blind for a second. And now there was this small green person writhing on the ground in front of him, and Pumbaa just couldn't leave him out here like this all alone when he was so small, and those weird arms of his were doing really strange things too, so that couldn't be good, and oooooh Pumbaa just had to help him any way he could!

"There was this really weird light, and then you just fell right out of it and landed almost at my feet."

"Eh?" His nasally voice chimed in, his face cocking in the most ungraceful expression of aloof curiosity one had ever seen.

Then he turned around, seeing this squat brown sack of stinking meat talking to him. "Yes, yes, I'm fine, I'm fine, now go away, you stinky piece of old ham--"

His brows knitted and he paused. Wait. What? Ham? He was talking to-- "AHHHHHH!!" He screeched and pointed at Pumbaa, his ruby, pupil-less eyes wide in shock. His voice cracked a few times in the process as his mechanical legs took a few steps back.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" The sudden screaming scared the warthog, and the only thing he could come up with to do on such short notice was to start screaming himself.

There was more screaming between them and he'd cocked himself out of the pig's reach before Zim came back to his senses--and it only took a few seconds--and realized that this was Paixao, where animals somehow talked. This piece of smelly ham wasn't that stupid, ugly Bloaty coming at him with a plate-o-death in the form of a saucer of pure grease, searing, painful meat, and near boiling cheese coming at him.

When his screech faded out, his eyes narrowed, antennae lowering to lay flush against his skull. "SILENCE!" He barked at the pig. This thing wasn't human, so he didn't care about not having his disguise. "Who are you?!

..And why is my map still all glitchy?" He sounded absolutely disgusted and abhorred by the fact that his gps system was still failing him. "...Is this still Paixao?" In the span of a few sentences, he went from a rude command, to a suspicious question.

Frankly Yzma didn’t quite care for anyone in this city. The effects of the fog on the people didn’t seem to faze her at all, and quite frankly she didn’t feel required to help anyone in their so-called crisis. For all that Yzma knew, she wasn’t affected and neither was anyone she knew closely around here. Why should she even bother? Besides, the issue seemed to be resolving itself anyway.

So usually something really had to catch Yzma’s eye to draw her attention to another individual. Which was what seemed to be happening right at this very moment. There was a quick flash of light and moments later she heard someone screaming. Or was it two people shouting? Lifting an eyebrow, Yzma went to go investigate out of pure inquisitiveness.

Taking a peek out from one of the buildings, Yzma looked over to see what looked like a pig and a giant green bug. She blinked, wait… Those two seemed familiar, could it be, “Oh no…” Yzma smacked her forehead, “It’s that warthog and that delusional so-called alien thing. What are they doing together?”

It seemed like a very unlikely duo to be hanging out together. Yet again, many folks around here seemed to have made friends with very WEIRD creatures already. Yzma knew she was going to regret this, but frankly Zim did intrigue her. Only because she has never seen an alien before, and is wondering what use he could be of her. Though Yzma already had a feeling that he’ll be almost impossible to work with, however, curiosity was really getting to her today... She just hopes that this curiosity wouldn’t kill this cat.

“Of course it’s still Paixao you idiot,” Yzma spoke as she confronted the alien. She nodded toward the warthog, “Hello uhm… Puuumbah… Right?”

Looking down at Zim’s computer Yzma folded her arms, sarcasm reeking from her lips, “And what were you trying to do anyway? Trying to summon your space ship?”

"Yep, that's me!" Pumbaa answered the giant frog-lady. He didn't think much of it when she walked up to them. There were lots of people around in this city, and it was actually kind of nice to meet someone that he'd already talked to on the journals. Though he did remember that she wasn't very friendly, and was often really rude without having a good reason.

He looked back at the green guy, then back at her again. "So uh...what's a space ship?"

This lady coming up on them looked...oddly familiar to Zim. His big red eyes narrowed at her, antennae alert and perked forwards for a brief moment before laying flush against his skull again. His head was still in a bit of a jumble after that experience.

But give it a few seconds for his PAK to repair itself and recover from the shock brought on by forces that had never previously been encountered, and everything made perfect sense! No more jumbled memories bouncing around, popping up at a whim before disappearing and confusing the shortest Irken--stuff like that happens when you mix artificial intelligence with biology.

"NO, I was trying to get out of this stupid place!" He stuck his tongue out at her with a 'hnnnnnnng' noise.

"I don't know what a space ship is because I don't have one. This stupid lizard lady must be so old that she's spouting out whatever her decaying, dusty brain of dirt manages to come up with." Said the alien, his voice aloof and matter-of-factly. His arms folded across his chest and he stuck his chin up in the air, poised to ardently deny everything.

Lovely, just as threatening as Yzma remembered this little green pipsqueak. She twitched at mention of being called a lizard lady, her cheeks turned pink and she growled at the little alien. “Lizard lady?D-Decaying?!!” Yzma held her fists they were turning whiter than sheets.

Yzma folded her arms and eyebrow arched, she grumbled to Pumbaa, “Spaceships are things that aliens go around in to get to certain places, like other planets and such,” She tilted her hips at the alien, in question, “And weren’t you one to be proclaiming to try conquer this planet? Don’t most looney aliens such as you have spaceships? Or did yours crash into the sun?”

Pumbaa couldn't help but laugh when at the little green guy's comment. It really was kind of funny. Though he did feel a little bad that he was laughing at someone getting called a mean name...

Wait, what did she say? "Other planets?" Pumbaa was finding it even easier to get lost in the conversation than usual, and even he realized it. "What's a looney alien?"

"Hey, you don't see me going around talking about space ships and something as dumb as going to other planets." He rolled his eyes and his wrist, dismissing her crazy accusations as though everyone were used to seeing her spout out insanity. "Boy, that's crazy-talk if I ever heard it. I remember some of the other things she's said.."

Oh Yzma. There is no arguing with Zim. He'll contradict himself with his lies before he admits to anything. Ever.

"There's no such thing.~" He tapped his fingertips together with this....frightening..grin that tried to look just as nice and inviting as his voice sounded, but he just looked kinda..annoying. Yeah.

Edited 2011-03-27 03:13 (UTC)

Yzma just made a very unamused face at Zim with a growl. She huffed and folded her arms, and looked away from him. As if to say she didn’t care what you think. Who cares anyway if you’re an alien or not, it can’t be that important for your tiny mind. Yzma thought he was so delusional, that he lied to himself about anything. She simply rolled her eyes at him when he said there’s no such thing.

“Then what do you call yourself? An overgrown mantis?” Yzma said in a flat tone, honestly the creatures she has to deal with.

"Uh...that didn't answer my question..." Pumbaa said, kind of whining a little. Boy, these two sure didn't seem to like each other. They could use some Hakuna Matata. Or maybe some nice, juicy, yummy bugs to eat! That had to be it! They were just cranky because they were hungry! Timon got like that too sometimes. And Simba...Simba could get really scary if he was hungry enough.

Or maybe they just hadn't gotten their beauty sleep...that could make Timon cranky too.

Why yes, Zim did lie to himself about everything. Point out the obvious truth that he was sent to Earth to be out of the Irken race's hair? He'll twist every word you spout out into nothing but compliments and ego boosts.

"NO, I AM NORMAL! IT'S A SKIN CONDITION! SKIN CONDITIOOOOON" He pointed at her viciously, head cocking with a breathless, defensive screech. He glared at her for a second afterward before huffing, voice still defensive, but it was only an aloof snort. "A normal, filthy little worm-baby."

Ruby eyes cut to the warthog, jaw jutting out. "I told you there was no such thing! JEEZE, pay attention more!"

Yzma folded her arms at the little ingrate. Honestly, was everyone here as dumb as ants on a picnic? She growled a bit under her breathe at Zim’s pathetic excuse for an explanation. Skin condition indeed, even if he truly had one he didn’t deserve any type of sympathy from this woman, no sir. Yzma sneered at the worm comment, “Worm-baby? So admit you’re an over-grown bug of some sort then?”

Leaning a bit to mock a whisper to Pumbaa, “That doesn’t matter, the point is that he’s like an alien. He’s so out there, he might as well be from outer space, you get the joke now?” Honestly, she was used to explaining stuff like this to Kronk. Though this was definitely becoming frustrating.

"...I don't get it." Pumbaa stared blankly up at Yzma, then looked back over to the green person. "How could he be in outer space when he's standing right here next to us?"

"OF COURSE I'M NOT!" Even without his disguise, he'd try really hard to cover up the fact that he was..well. An alien. Usually the people of Earth were stupid enough to fall for his excuses, but this was seemed to be as smart as Dib. "I just think you're gross, worm-baby."

"Hmm..?" His antennae perked up in quite the curious manner before he looked over to Yzma. "Heeeeeey, I can HEAR you, you know! And I'm not crazy!" He grumbled under his breath, eyes narrowing at the taller lizard-thing out of the two.

He really had to get back to his lab to fix things. Cause. You know. He wanted to go back to Earth to CONQUER it. Thus, he turned on his usual bravado, making it sound as though he blessed them with his presence--cause, he actually did. "This conversation has been wonderfully enlightening and all, but would you tell me where exactly I'm at? I have places to go and things to do you know, just like any other normal person."

Yzma steamed up, her cheeks became pink again. Obviously these insults about her were getting out of hand. And from the looks of it she had every right to come up with some invectives to that green dolt in return. Yzma made a growl, “The only little worm here is you, you red eyed overgrown caterpillar and you are to one who’s crazy! You’re no worse than a tiny little ant that’s been out in a sun too long! And by the looks of things, you’re already gone off the edge of that rocker.”

Reaching up Yzma smacked her palm against forehead. What makes this whole situation worse is that Pumbaa wasn’t even getting any of her jokes. Yzma groaned, “Guuuu, Nevermind Pumbaa!”

At this point, Yzma folded her arms at Zim, and made a grumble. So he wanted information did he? Yzma had half a mind to completely lie to him about their location to make him confused, but decided to be rather blunt, “We’re located in Paixao. Really, I’m surprised you didn’t know that by now. Well yet again I shouldn’t be really. Just how small is your brain in that square head of yours?”

"I don't think he looks much like a yummy bug at all. And I really like ants and caterpillars." Well, okay, they weren't his favorites, but he'd eaten lots and lots of bugs in his day, and Zim didn't look like any of them.

"We're pretty close to one of the gates," Pumbaa added. "Me, Timon, and Simba don't live very far from here, either." Of course, the fact telling random strangers where he lived might be a bad> idea never struck the warthog in the least. Not without Timon around.

Zim's business is insults. He was a very combative and argumentative little alien that just had to have the last word. "I have already told you, hideous beast, that I am neither a bug nor crazy, and that I am indeed on this rocker thing you keep talking about." He sounded aloof and victorious with that ever-present bravado of his, though still harsh and judgmental as usual.

Though he cocked a brow before his eyes narrowed with an annoyed grunt as Pumbaa continued on about how he was not delicious. He was a mighty Irken, a proud Invader! Mission goo ran through his veins! This stupid, pitiful earth-stink had no right even CONSIDERING that he could be anything less than amazing!! "I AM THE MOST DELICIOUS BEING IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE!! SHUT YOUR HIDEOUS, TASTELESS MOUTH!!"

Sorry Yzma, he totally missed you answering his question. "Now where are we!? No one cares were you live." His voice lowered to a baritone, though it retained some of that vivacious snarl from his proclamations. As he finished, he just sounded annoyed, wound-up, and snarky.

Edited 2011-04-13 00:48 (UTC)

“Oh please, you’re so off the rocker, that it’s nothing but a tiny spec in the distance,” Yzma spoke indignantly. She peered down at Zim in pure disgust, curling a lip up at his disgusting remarks about her.

And as if Zim couldn’t qualify more to be both an idiot and insane, he yelled something that Yzma deemed to be the grossest thing someone has ever said in front of a lady like her. She couldn’t help but stare at him for a minute, even glancing at Pumbaa then back at him. As if to say, is this Zim guy for real? Seriously? What kind of moronic creature would ever spout out to folks that he’s the most delicious being in the world?!

An expression changed on Yzma’s face toward Zim of an unamused one. She folded her arms and spoke, “Frankly my dear, I do not give a slightest care about whether you’re delicious or not. A carnivorous creature might, but I would feel sorry for any who’d want to eat something as foul as you,” Turning on heel as if she was about to leave, she gave a huff, “One shouldn't help another creature who’s both delusional and rude, don’t you agree Pumbaa?”

"I still don't think you'd taste very good," Pumbaa said, peering at Zim like somehow he could tell taste with his eyesight. He looked back up at Yzma.

"I dunno, I think it's rude not to help him out though, especially after he asked for it. Even if he wasn't very nice about it."

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