paixaorpg | The Most Horrible Invasion Ever [active]

Entry tags:

The Most Horrible Invasion Ever [active]

Character(s): Zim and Kit Fisto
Content: Zim enters Paixao, two green aliens meet, Zim makes an utter fool of himself.
Setting: Joutenheim
Time: Somewhere between morning and noonish
Warnings: Anything that you could expect from Zim

Somewhere on Earth, a boy had gone missing and, though he left an impression on everyone he met, he wouldn't be missed. In fact, it wouldn't be surprising if the majority of the populace were celebrating the fact that the green child hadn't appeared in the local skool that morning. In fact, most doctors would be relieved that they could now go for at least a couple of days without seeing people who were going deaf due to the boy's mind-shatteringly loud screams of whatever-he-happened-to-be-feeling-at-the-moment.

Yes, the people in that town on Earth certainly had something to celebrate about. Unfortunately, the residents--both foreign and native--of Paixao had now come into possession of one green 'child' by the name of Zim.

He seemed innocent enough with his wide violet eyes (via contacts) staring blankly ahead and red-violet, segmented tongue hanging out the side of his mouth. He had been standing like that for around half an hour, and, though it had been found cute (albeit strange) for a couple of seconds, the people in the long line in front of Joutenheim gate had now decided he was in a state of shock. Once that decision was made, Zim was completely ignored.

By now, Zim had been out of his trance for a grand total of one second. Coming to a sudden realization that something was amiss, he opened his mouth and out came a series of cries so loud they could probably be heard by half the city.

"WHO ARE YOU?! WHERE AM I?! HOW DID I GET HERE?! I AM ZIM!!!" Violent points accompanied each sentence, changing target each time. There was no specific person, building, or object in mind; the very act of the point was good enough.

Zim frowned as the only reaction he got was a wince and short stare from the line-goers. With a slight snarl, he marched his way up to the gatekeeper, roughly shoving anyone who had been standing in the line out of his way. He was Zim, and Zim needed no 'lines.'

"You! Stink-pig beast of smell! I demand you tell me everything that you know! Everything..." he shook his fist in the gatekeeper's face, the man taking it in stride and holding out the journal and pamphlet that he gave to everyone.

"Here you go!" he cried cheerfully, with the largest, happiest, sweetest grin he could muster. His only response was a twitch and the jutting out of Zim's lower jaw.

"THIS IS NOT TELLING ZIM EVERYTHING!!" Zim snapped back, but snatching the journal and pamphlet out of the gatekeeper's hand anyway. He stared at the items for a bit before starting to walk away, now thoroughly distracted. He only stopped when he heard the gatekeeper ask for his name, and it was only to deliver the automatic screech of "I AM ZIM!" before continuing on his way.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Kit wasn't sure what, exactly, had happened, though he was content to approach the gate and its keeper and ask. He would walk away a short time later, with very little in way of an answer, a journal, and a handful of pamphlets. The Jedi soon found a bench surrounded by copper shrubbery, took a seat, and began to explore the journal's functions in relative peace.

This didn't last long. He was distracted by the shrieking.

Deciding it would probably be best to investigate, Kit pocketed the journal and pamphlets, moving towards the source of the noise. He was surprised to find a creature so small and yet so loud, and approached faintly amused. "Zim! Hello; is there a reason you're shouting?"

Zim immediately whipped around and pointed dramatically at Kit. "YOU!" he cried in a way that seemed to increase the drama tenfold. Unfortunately it was all sucked away into a metaphorical black hole as Zim quickly realized something. "Wait a minute. Who are you?"

And how did he know Zim's name? It could only mean one of two things. Either Zim was just that famous or the creature in front of him could read his mind and was planning on devouring his delicious brainmeats. He decided he would wait to come to a conclusion after he received a response.

"Yes?" Kit would've raised an eyebrow, if he had had the necessary feature; instead, he just tilted his head as he walked closer to Zim. "Kit Fisto, of the Jedi Council." It was a relief that the shouting had stopped, for himself and those within earshot, and almost a surprise that there seemed to be no great crisis as a cause of the noise. Smiling a little, the Jedi clasped his hands behind his back, looking at the little invader with natural curiosity. He didn't believe he'd seen that species before...

"Jedi... Council?" Zim asked, blinking confusedly. He had never heard of such a thing. However, as this... 'Kit' wasn't inviting him in, Zim decided to go with the second option that he had been considering. "You're after my brain! Leave my amazing brain alone! It's mine, mine I tell you! You knew my name! It must be true..." Zim flailed his arms manically, not sure what good it would do, but hoping it got his point across well enough.

"Yes, the Jedi Council--" He tried to hold back a laugh and couldn't, though it ended quickly. "No, no, no. Not at all. I know your name because I heard you yelling 'I am Zim' at high volume. I'm not after your brain, or your antennae, or anything at all. Don't worry."

...If this kept up, this Zim would probably hurt himself...

This was a valid excuse, as Zim was known for such behavior, but it didn't completely take away his suspicion. Zim would be watching him closely, very closely. If there was any hint of brain-wanting, Zim would be sure to catch him. No one stole the brainmeats of Zim! NO ONE! Except himself, but that only happened once.

...Wait. Antennae? Zim froze, slack-jawed before he reached up, patting his head. His wig! It was GONE! "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Zim cried out, falling to his knees and raising his hands up to the sky. He even clenched them into fists to display the SHEER DISTRESS that was going through his mind.

More amused by this paranoia than anything else, Kit had been about to say something in addition, but was cut off by the earsplitting howl. It took a moment to recover---it had been unexpected---but the Jedi stepped closer, offering Zim a hand up. "No to what, exactly? It should be alright."

Zim looked around shiftily before dashing off, coming back with a branch snatched from a nearby bush on his head. "Eh... Nothing. And you must have seen wrong before. There are no antennae. See? Just a branch that has fallen onto my head. Yep. Been there the whole time. I didn't run off within the last couple of seconds at all, nope." Zim's eyes darted from side to side before he gave a grin large enough to split his face in half, were such a thing possible. There was no way anyone could argue with that logic. Zim's logic wall was impenetrable! Impenetrable!

The immediate answer was a long, skeptical silence. "...The branch does not hide your antennae, it wasn't always there, and you did run off. I don't see why you're so very defensive..."

Zim looked around, making sure no one was listening in before he leaned in closer. "Because no one else can know!" he said, "And they don't know that it wasn't always there and I ran off." How did he beat his wall of logic?! HOW?! It had been flawless! This being was much more powerful than he thought.

"Alright, alright...if it makes you feel better, I won't say anything about them, and I won't draw any attention to them. How's that?" Really, in the face of Zim's tone and expressions, it was a great effort to remain straight-faced and sound serious... he would manage, though; Zim was being serious, and he would respect that. Or try to.

"Good!" Zim said, nodding once. The branch nearly slipped off his head in the process, but the Irken quickly caught it and fixed it before such a tragedy could come to place. "It does indeed make me feel better!"

"Good, good.... I'm sure anyone who does notice will spend more time wondering about why you have a branch on your head. As far as wondering goes, you never did answer my question." Kit peered down at the little intruder, as he was easily two and a half feet taller, which made it difficult to avoid peering down. "Why were you shouting earlier?"

...there would be some reason, right?

Zim stared blankly at Kit for awhile. Why had he been shouting? He couldn't remember. He frowned slightly as he thought about that for awhile. He'd been in his lab plotting world domination--as usual--and then he was here. And there were people, staring people. And then someone asked his name. That must've been it. Zim's name was so important it had to be shouted, so...

Wait, since when did he need a reason to shout? When did reason go along with shouting? Was there some memo he missed? Was it some common knowledge Zim had missed? Would it make him appear less normal?! Zim thought quickly and came up with a full-proof reason, one that he was certain Kit couldn't get by. "Because it's fun."

Kit waited as patiently as he could, smiling and shaking his head when Zim finally answered. "Alright; that's as good a reason as any, although I will ask you to please avoid shouting quite so loudly in the future. You'd probably damage someone's hearing before long, otherwise, and probably mine."

Was it only by chance that the Irken had stated a legitimate reason...? The reason itself was solid enough, but the brief confusion and panic preceding it had been noticed and duly noted.

If Zim had heard his fellow green alien, he didn't show it. At the moment, the Irken was studying the city around him, questions popping up in his head like daisies. Why did there seem to be no organic plant life? Why did these people pick domes of all things? Why did the fauna look radioactive? Where would be the best spot to put a base?

A base... Yes, he needed one of those. He didn't have the same device that had created his base back on Earth, so it seemed he was going to have to find a building around here somewhere and adapt it.

Snapping out of his thoughts, he looked over at Kit again. "So... eh... You like waffles?

Of all possible questions, that hadn't been one expected. Surprised into a laugh, the Jedi nodded. "I do, actually, although I prefer pancakes, since they're better suited to wrapping things in." Namely fish. "What about you? What do you usually eat?"

That question was an easy one. "Snacks," Zim said. He tried to think of anything else he ate and came up with nothing. Chips, pop, candy... Most of his meals of choice revolved around those. Then again, there were those terrible concoctions that GIR called food, but Zim only ate those when they were shoved down his throat. He wondered to himself if he could use GIR's 'cooking' as a weapon.

The principle of the thing was fine, but it still wasn't much of an answer. "Well, what sorts of snacks? There are, after all, a great many things to choose from..." Granted, they would change wherever you went, but there was no harm in that; the variety was limitless.

This was a terrible topic, with its timing... He'd become a misplaced person shortly before lunch.

"What sorts of snacks?" Zim echoed confusedly. There were other kinds of snacks? Very interesting! This could be valuable information. He would have to tell the Tallests of these snacks the next chance that he got. "Zim was not aware of there being more than one type of snack! Tell me, what other snacks are out there?"

Laughing, Kit nodded, a tentacle sliding off his shoulder and swinging with the motion. "Well, anything can be considered a snack, if it's a small enough portion..." He shrugged. "Personally, I prefer fish---for snacks and meals. But baked goods, cheese, fruit... I imagine anything edible will work. So, yes, what are you usually snacking on?"

The longer this conversation went on, the more he found himself wishing for fish, or pancakes....preferably both.

Zim took a deep breath and then proceeded to list every single snack available to the Irken empire. The invader didn't even pause to consider that this wasn't what Kit had meant. The idea had gone through Zim's head, and he was going to make sure it was completed. Any annoyances suffered by anyone else was their fault.

Kit would listen patiently enough, eventually crossing his arms as he waited, and later raising the eyebrows which weren't there as it became apparent that there were more items to be mentioned. He broke in at the first pause, grinning and tilting his head. "If that's the case, then it's a wonder you aren't round; how many stomachs do you have? ...For that matter, I don't believe I've seen your species before. What are you?"

Zim was about to answer, but questions started popping into his head. Why was he being asked so many questions? What would happen if Zim voiced his intentions to rule over Earth? He wasn't entirely sure that Kit knew what Earth was, but that wasn't the point. Or, gasp, what if he was an enemy of the Irken Empire?!

Zim had never heard of any enemies matching Kit's description, but it was entirely possible that the Tallest just hadn't gotten around to telling him yet. They often accidentally forgot to tell him things quite a bit these days, but they were very busy, so it was excusable. The Tallests wouldn't keep information from their best invader on purpose, after all!

Oh no, he was onto this brain-eating enemy's game, and he wasn't going to fall for it! In fact, he was so not going to fall for it that it had to be put into words. His eyes narrowed as he glared at Kit. "I'm onto you... Don't think you can fool Zim with your smiley questions of DOOM! You'll get nothing of me! NOTHING! NOOOOOOOTHING!"

Zim screamed the last word as he ran away, arms straight up in the air and his face scrunched up from the sheer force of his yell. As he disappeared into the distance, the branch he'd been wearing slipped off of his head and onto the ground, Zim taking no notice.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The Most Horrible Invasion Ever [active]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject