paixaorpg | It's the Hey Look It's Ed! log! :O [Completed]

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It's the Hey Look It's Ed! log! :O [Completed]

Character(s): Edward Elric and whoever feels like
Content: Ed finds himself in Paixao.
Setting: Joutenheim Gate
Time: Evening
Warnings: ~~Extreme shortness~~

Clearly Edward had taken a wrong turn somewhere. He knew this city like the back of his hand, so how had he ended up near a river when there wasn't even one nearby? He'd just been going to the damn trainstation, it shouldn't have been this complicated! And after he'd spent so many years traveling, you'd think that he'd have a better sense of direction. Edward sighed and scratched his head, looking up at the gates of the unfamiliar city in front of him (and who used city gates anymore anyway) and decided it was probably best if he just went inside and asked someone where he was and how he could get back to Berlin. So, with a sigh and a slump, he headed inside, hoping he hadn't somehow strayed too far.

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The idea was simple enough – run away. Etna was on the warpath again, and it was never a good idea to be around when that was the case.

So the trio of prinnies ran, leaving their companions to suffer their boss’ wrath. Up the stairs, down the hall, and through a door they’d never seen before.

Right into a grassy field.

Of course, all three felt the need to voice their amazement. Simultaneously.

“Dood, that’s weird!”

“Where are we, dood?”

“…dood.”

Before them loomed a gate, the likes of which they’d never seen before. Simply ignoring the line of people waiting outside it, they scampered towards it, stopping before the gatekeeper.

“Where are we, dood?” One of the prinnies – Bellatrix, for lack of any other distinguishing features – appointed itself spokesprinny and questioned the gatekeeper.

“Paixao,” replied the blonde woman without missing a beat. “Your names?”

“We’re the prinny squad, dood!” Bellatrix spoke up again.

The gatekeeper mentally shrugged. She’d heard weirder. “Welcome to the city. If you proceed through the gates, you’ll receive your journal at the next booth.”

Which is exactly what they did. They were fighting over the small object when the officially entered the city of Paixao.

Paixao. That definitely wasn't German, no matter how Edward tried to twist the word around in his mind; it sounded almost Xingese. Or Chinese, whatever. Either way, Edward hadn't been walking long enough to have gotten to either country from either Amestris or Germany, so what the hell was going on? He flipped through the journal idly while trying to figure out where he'd made a wrong turn and he was about to toss the stupid thing away since he already had a notebook when he turned and saw a group of . . . somethings. They looked almost like penguins but dressed up as vampire pirates or something. The blonde looked around for a minute before looking back down at them, "Is there a zoo around here or something?"

The prinnies were too busy squabbling with one another over the electronic journal to notice their new companion - that is, until he spoke to them.

Instantly their attention was completely focused on him. "How would we know? We just got here, dood!" exclaimed Bellatrix. Another prinny, Freidrich, got more personal and walked circles around the newcomer, inspecting him from head to toe. "He's got one of those journal-things too, dood!"

The third prinny, Keesling, simply got to the point. "Who're you, dood?"

Okay, things had just gotten decidedly stranger. The penguins in costume were talking now, and Edward's first thought was that these must be some sort of chimeras, but there was no sign of any human element, so how were they speaking? That and he wasn't supposed to be in a world that knew alchemy like that anymore. Edward watched the vampire-pirate-penguin thing that was circling him before one of the other ones asked him who he was. Yeah, right, like he was going to give his name away to these . . . things.

"I think the better question here is what the hell are you, how are you talking, and what do you keep calling me?"

"Hey, we asked you first, dood!" Keesling retorted, unhappy that his question had been so roughly brushed aside.

"Yeah! No fair, dood!" Freidrich offered his two bits, still circling the stranger, trying to see every aspect of him and thoroughly misinterpreting the ones he didn't understand.

"Yeah! You answer us first, dood!" Bellatrix topped off the argument, glaring up at the stranger in what she believed to be an intimidating manner.

Well weren't they demanding little penguin-things? Edward glared at them for a moment, the whole time getting more and more annoyed by the one that kept circling him and he almost just kicked the stupid thing away. But the fact that these things were annoying and talking and obviously not natural stopped him (he'd always had a soft spot for animals) and instead he just broke out of the one vampire-pirate-penguin's circle and shoved it (gently) towards its companions.

"I'm just someone trying to get back to Berlin," he muttered, hoping that would satisfy them.

It wouldn't.

"Don't you have a name, dood?" Keesling insisted as he rejoined his comrades.

"Of course he does! Everybody's got a name, dood!" Friedrich insisted, then turned and questioned the newcomer once again. "Don't you, dood?"

Her companions' insistance on his name left Bellatrix to ponder other aspects of his response. "What's a Berlin, dood?"

Edward slapped a hand to his forehead and let it drag down his face. This had to be some sort of nightmare, though it certainly wasn't exactly on track with his usual nightmares. He ignored the questions about his name, still not exactly feeling comfortable giving it out to anyone, least of a bunch of talking animals.

"Berlin's a city. I'm trying to get back there, if you don't mind."

"We don't mind, dood!" Keesling volunteered cheerily. His question hadn't been asnwered, but hey, it would happen sooner or later.

"Why're you trying to get back, dood?" Friedrich demonstrated his inability to think beyond what was right in front of him and simply questioned the statement he had been given.

Bellatrix, however, had more pressing matters in mind. "Do you know where we are, dood?"

Edward scrubbed his hand over his face and tried, again, not to take out hsi frustration on the stupid little purple penguin pirate things.

"I'm trying to get back because that's where I was last. The lady at the gate said that this is Paixao but won't tell me anything more than that." He looked at them expectantly. "Anything else? Or can I go now?" Not that he had any idea where to go.

"Ohhhhhh." All three prinnies nodded in understanding.

The slight calm shattered when all three spoke at once.

"I still wanna know your name, dood!" Keesling insisted, returning to an earlier unanswered question.

"Do you know where this Pie-Show place is, dood?" Bellatrix continued her line of questioning.

"No problem! We can go with you, dood!" Friedrich exclaimed cheerily, throwing his flippers into the air.

All three stopped and looked up at the blonde, each expecting their statement to be answered first.

Edward nearly growled in frustration. Why the hell was he even standing here answering questions asked to him by a bunch of flightless birds in Halloween costumes?! Obviously this was just some sort of bad dream. He'd just fallen asleep in the apartment he'd shared with his father and now he was having this weird dream thanks to the fumes from the bastard's damn perfume.

"You don't need to know my name, I have no idea where the hell this place is, and there's no way in hell that I'm taking you anywhere with me. We done with the interrogation now?"

All three prinnies were taken aback by this sudden display of rudeness. They just wanted to know. Jeez.

They reacted by forming a tight huddle, whispering and muttering with the occasional conspiratorially miffed glance towards the blond. Plans were obviously in the making.

Whatever those plans were, Edward wanted no part in them. Since the penguins' attention was finally off of him (mostly), he decided to take that opportunity to sneak away. He'd find someone who knew where Berlin was and, until then, he'd find somewhere to stay. Edward picked up his suitcase and headed off, rather quickly, away from the group of murmuring things.

Prinnies did not survive long by being unobservant. So when the blond bolted in the opposite direction, all three prinnies immediately noticed. Within seconds their huddle was broken and they were chasing after him, fully intent on getting answers to all those questions they had asked him.

Because really, what did they have to lose?

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It's the Hey Look It's Ed! log! :O [Completed]

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